ace..how are you a month old already?

ace,

how can you possibly be one month old? you are growing up too fast already! every day we learn more and more about each other. not knowing this kind of love was even possible, my love for you grows bigger and bigger with each passing day.

you are so independent! you want to help hold your bottle, put your paci in and hold it by yourself and even try to get your arms through your onesies. i see so much of my independent spirit in you already! i love to watch you figure things out and take charge considering that you are still so brand new and teeny tiny!

temper and impatience are also two words that describe your one month old personality. if there is something that you want but are having a hard time getting, you have no problem screaming and grunting to let us know. you have a distinct "i want something and i want it now" scream. same goes for when you need your diaper changed. the minute the deed occurs, you scream bloody murder until you are dry.this includes turning completely red and gasping for air. your lungs are FULLY developed and work very well! i guess you get that from both mommy and daddy.

you have a million faces. there is that adorable little bird face you make after eating. the wide eyed good morning look. the sweet little smiles during bath time and tummy time. gosh, there are so many. don't worry though, mommy takes about 60 pictures of you a day so i am sure all of these faces are documented. your sweet little personality is really starting to shine through. as much as i don't want you to change and grow, i can't wait to watch this personality evolve. i wonder so much about what you are thinking.

you love to swing right now more than anything. the first few weeks of your life you loved to sit in your lamb seat with the vibrations. i am sure this will continue to change but the second you get in your swing, you fall asleep. you are also a great night sleeper. you will even go down in your bassinet and fall asleep on your own. such a big boy!

you eat between 2-4 ounces each time you eat. lately that has been almost every 1.5 hours. you have been going through a growth spurt for a couple of weeks! but, you are boy and i guess later in life you will be eating us out of house and home! you are nursing and taking a bottle at each feeding and do a great job going between the two. when you are hungry you let mommy know!

when daddy comes home from work, you hear his voice and turn to look for him. it makes me remember being little and waiting for my daddy to get home from work. you love your daddy! he can get you to do anything!

ace, you are such a wonderful little boy! your first month of life has been such a treat for us. i have enjoyed every moment of being home with you and watching you grow. i will miss your first month of life now that it is over but i am working so hard to cherish every moment, the quiet ones and the the moments you are screaming! basically, you rock my face off! here we go to month two!

i love you!

mommy

Baby B is Wallace Rudolph

i need to spend some time writing about baby b's arrival. the wonderful care we received at candler hospital in savannah, ga, the tremendous support from family and friends, baby b's entry into the world and the first wonderful days of life. but, i am afraid i am going to forget all of the other things that have happened in the past month. so, i want to write down all of the things i want to remember from baby b's first month of life.

i want to remember...

-the moment my water broke in the hospital and i thought i wet the bed and didn't know what really happened.
-the granola bar i threw at aaron during a contraction when he was snoring.
-the benadryl nap...best nap ever!
-the patience and support of aaron while i labored. he sat at the foot of my bed and watched me sleep. i would open my eyes and he was there just waiting.
-the moment the nurse said "you are complete" and i asked, "now what?"
-those final moments with aaron. just rachel and aaron. you know, before our lives changed forever.
-the songs that were playing on the ipod when it was time to push...world on fire, how to save a life, grace is gone.
-asking the doctor if i was actually pushing.
-the moment when dr. smith said "ok,one more half push"
-the hand squeeze from aaron.
-dr. smith pulling out baby b...and aaron announcing..."Its A BOY!!!"
-the first time they laid the baby on my chest. the proudest moment of my life.
-the moment baby's looked into mine and his little hand grabbed my finger. breathtaking.
-the excitement in aaron's eyes as he became a daddy.
-our first moments as a family.
-telling dr. smith that the labor and delivery wasn't nearly as bad as i thought it was going to be.
-breastfeeding for the very first time.
-the ride down the hallway in the bed because my legs were so numb and heavy from the epidural
-the first few hours in the hospital, so full of excitement.
-the wonderful support from family and friends on ace's birth day!
-the diaper incident with stefani
-our first night together as a family. watching aaron rock Ace to sleep.
-watching aaron watch ace. he waited so long to meet him!
-holding my sweet baby close to me. listening to him breathe. the shallow little breaths he was taking almost like sighs of relief that his delivery was over.
-the look on my mom's face when she got to the hospital door.
-the moment we got ace home.
-the first night. sleeping in our monster of a bed with such a tiny little person in my arms.
-the second night....the long long second night.
-the first time we realized little boys pee a lot!
-the devastation  of knowing that i have chronic low milk supply and can not exclusively my son . the victory of knowing that i still have a nursing relationship with my baby and the victory of pumping two ounces up from just 1/4 of an ounce the first week.
-the sweet little faces ace makes after he eats and when he wakes up. kind of like a little bird.
-how curled up ace is when i get him out of his car seat and how he stays in a little ball for awhile afterwards.
-watching ace stretch out completely, arms and legs, like he is going to do a pin drop off a diving board.
-the quiet moments when we rest together in the afternoons.
-our first day home together when i had no idea what to do.
-the first time ace really noticed my face and locked in on it.
-the independence of ace at two weeks old. holding his own bottle with his hands cupped around the top. holding his pacifier with his hand.
-the sweet sounds ace makes while he is eating and when he is falling asleep.
-the lump i have to swallow every time i look at my son and realize that he is the miracle that aaron and i made out of love.

i almost wish i could have video taped the whole first month. i never want to forget these days. the love that i have for Ace is unlike anything i could have ever imagined. i love him more with every passing second. my tummy feels so strange without him in it and i still can't believe he was actually in there for nine months. the shock of his gender has still not worn off!

my life is truly blessed. i have never been happier in my whole life.