Baby B is Wallace Rudolph

i need to spend some time writing about baby b's arrival. the wonderful care we received at candler hospital in savannah, ga, the tremendous support from family and friends, baby b's entry into the world and the first wonderful days of life. but, i am afraid i am going to forget all of the other things that have happened in the past month. so, i want to write down all of the things i want to remember from baby b's first month of life.

i want to remember...

-the moment my water broke in the hospital and i thought i wet the bed and didn't know what really happened.
-the granola bar i threw at aaron during a contraction when he was snoring.
-the benadryl nap...best nap ever!
-the patience and support of aaron while i labored. he sat at the foot of my bed and watched me sleep. i would open my eyes and he was there just waiting.
-the moment the nurse said "you are complete" and i asked, "now what?"
-those final moments with aaron. just rachel and aaron. you know, before our lives changed forever.
-the songs that were playing on the ipod when it was time to push...world on fire, how to save a life, grace is gone.
-asking the doctor if i was actually pushing.
-the moment when dr. smith said "ok,one more half push"
-the hand squeeze from aaron.
-dr. smith pulling out baby b...and aaron announcing..."Its A BOY!!!"
-the first time they laid the baby on my chest. the proudest moment of my life.
-the moment baby's looked into mine and his little hand grabbed my finger. breathtaking.
-the excitement in aaron's eyes as he became a daddy.
-our first moments as a family.
-telling dr. smith that the labor and delivery wasn't nearly as bad as i thought it was going to be.
-breastfeeding for the very first time.
-the ride down the hallway in the bed because my legs were so numb and heavy from the epidural
-the first few hours in the hospital, so full of excitement.
-the wonderful support from family and friends on ace's birth day!
-the diaper incident with stefani
-our first night together as a family. watching aaron rock Ace to sleep.
-watching aaron watch ace. he waited so long to meet him!
-holding my sweet baby close to me. listening to him breathe. the shallow little breaths he was taking almost like sighs of relief that his delivery was over.
-the look on my mom's face when she got to the hospital door.
-the moment we got ace home.
-the first night. sleeping in our monster of a bed with such a tiny little person in my arms.
-the second night....the long long second night.
-the first time we realized little boys pee a lot!
-the devastation  of knowing that i have chronic low milk supply and can not exclusively my son . the victory of knowing that i still have a nursing relationship with my baby and the victory of pumping two ounces up from just 1/4 of an ounce the first week.
-the sweet little faces ace makes after he eats and when he wakes up. kind of like a little bird.
-how curled up ace is when i get him out of his car seat and how he stays in a little ball for awhile afterwards.
-watching ace stretch out completely, arms and legs, like he is going to do a pin drop off a diving board.
-the quiet moments when we rest together in the afternoons.
-our first day home together when i had no idea what to do.
-the first time ace really noticed my face and locked in on it.
-the independence of ace at two weeks old. holding his own bottle with his hands cupped around the top. holding his pacifier with his hand.
-the sweet sounds ace makes while he is eating and when he is falling asleep.
-the lump i have to swallow every time i look at my son and realize that he is the miracle that aaron and i made out of love.

i almost wish i could have video taped the whole first month. i never want to forget these days. the love that i have for Ace is unlike anything i could have ever imagined. i love him more with every passing second. my tummy feels so strange without him in it and i still can't believe he was actually in there for nine months. the shock of his gender has still not worn off!

my life is truly blessed. i have never been happier in my whole life.