the tiny dancer in my tummy

so i am 26 weeks today with baby b. this little person is quite the mover and the shaker. we were at an event for work tonight and there was a live band. following in in his or her mama's foorsteps...my tiny dancer was kicking away to the live beatles music. he or she is currently taken up position right behind my belly button :)

i heart baby b!

lumpy throat day

today, well, not just today but lots of days lately, i have done a lot of lump swallowing. i am sure that some of it is the hormones that have control over my body. but, i know that a big majority of the lumps are coming from the overwhelming love and excitement i have about this little baby. i am so in love already.

most you know that i am a very emotional person who wears her heart on her sleeve. i am frequently moved to tears, extremely passionate about life and the work that i do and very devoted to my family. i am so excited to add be adding "mama" to that list very soon.

today on the way to work i was jamming to one of my favorite dixie chicks songs. as i loudly sang the words felt the lump in my throat. little baby b was kicking away, i was singing away and just thinking about how i couldn't wait to drive around with baby b in the backseat singing right along too. *GULP* big lump. then i thought about the words to the song. the song talks about not being like everybody else, exploring the world, trying new things and someday settling down. *GULP* big lump. these are all of the things i want for baby b. things are all of the things my parents watched me do and supported me through. *GULP* big lump while typing this.

i can't wait to meet this little baby in my tummy. i can't wait to dance it out in the living room with him or her after a bad day at school. to open the windows of the car and sing on the top of our lungs. to take the long way around. i just love this baby so much already.

checking in...

baby b and i have reached the 25 week mark. it is hard to believe that our little one will be here in plus or minus 15 weeks. we still have a ton to get done at the house, dixie needs to go to the vet, i have to figure out my maternity leave, etc. etc. etc.

when we went to the doctor of our 24 weeks appointment he told us we would come for one more monthly appointment and then start going every two weeks. every two weeks? this is becoming more and more real every day. wow! i had gained two pounds since my last appointment and considering that the baby weighs at least 1, i think i am doing pretty good. my mom told me that i have to be the skinniest mom in the history of our family. if you know me, you know i have to think about everything i eat, all the time, so this is a small personal victory. i think it must be from the miles i am putting in at the pool.

baby b is active all the time now. last weekend i was sitting on the couch looking at my tummy and i saw it jump and wiggle. it was so cool! i couldn't take my eyes of my stomach...first time that has ever happened in  my life :) the next morning when it was really quiet in our room, i told aaron to put his hand on my tummy since baby b tends to do some stretching when i first wake up. we shared a very special moment, the three of us, as aaron felt our little miracle kick for the very first time. he said "is he over here?", talking about the spot where he had his hand. that was exactly where the baby was! his smile stretched from ear to ear and i had to swallow the big lump in my throat. i feel so lucky to have my little one with me all day long and to be able to share that with his or her daddy was so special to me. i don't think i will ever forget that moment!

the nursery is starting to come together. it's funny, when people know you are not finding out what you are having, they are so concerned about what color you are going to paint the nursery. aaron painted 5 different shades of the color we have chosen and i think i have it narrowed down to one. i will share photos when i get the room all finished. believe me, it will be a cozy little gender neutral heaven.

in the meantime, we are just getting ready for our little one. just yesterday i looked at aaron in a moment of fear and anxiety and said "how in the hell am i going to ever get this baby out?" aaron, in his most serious self, said, "i am going to hold the bottom of your foot and you are going to push." he is going to be such a good coach and daddy. i am enjoying every quiet moment at our house just the two of us because i know that before we know it, our family of two plus dixie will be a little family of three.

baby b at 20 weeks

aaron and i got to spend a little face time with baby b today! we had our 20 week doctor's appointment this morning. this appointment is a big deal for a couple of reasons. first of all, it is the halfway mark of my pregnancy. it's hard to believe that the journey is halfway over and that the major changes are still ahead.

secondly, at 20 weeks, the doctor does the big scan of the little one to see how things are growing. i have been anxiously anticipating this scan for awhile because all we want in the whole world is a healthy baby. they check the heart, the liver, the spine, the stomach, the bladder, the brain, the fingers, toes, bones, lips and length and weight. they also check for gender but we opted out of that part of the scan because we are keeping it a surprise.

the very first view we got of baby b today was of his or her very strong heart. all four chambers of it. this mama let out a big sigh of relief to see that little muscle in all of its glory, beating away in our little one's chest! matter of factly, i am still smiling about it. as the scan progressed we saw the most adorable little lips, the cutest little feet and hands and what is shaping up to be the most adorable little face. baby b is in the 50% percentile for length and weight which was a relief. we have an average size little human on our hands! the thought of delivering a little giant is pretty scary! i personally think that baby b's nose looks like mine but we will have to wait and see in person in just 20 more weeks!

as for me, things are progressing nicely. still no weight gain which also makes this mama quite happy! my "bump" is what i would have complained about before as just my regular ol' chubby tummy is getting firmer by the day. you can't see it if you look at me but i let aaron take some shots of it this weekend for the record book. i am not rushing the bump because i am happy to still wear my regular clothes and the baby is just fine so all is well in that category.

aaron and i are going to begin working on the nursery very soon. we have lots of creative ideas and can't wait for it all to come together. 20 weeks might be a lot of weeks to some people but i know they are going to fly by!

baby b at 20 weeks

me and baby b

i have been itching to blog about baby b since we found out about our little miracle back in late september. where does the time go? i was just thinking last night that i can't believe i have been pregnant for 18 weeks, 4 1/2 months. it's crazy!

so here i am, 18 weeks and a few days pregnant, just now sharing my thoughts about this journey. i have been keeping a weekly notebook for baby b where i write down things i am feeling and changes we are going through so at least my thoughts are somewhere.

aaron and i first got to see baby b when our little one was just five weeks old. i was having a lot of problems and the doctor wanted to see us to make sure that we were both ok. i will never ever forget the moment when the sonogram tech looked on the screen for the heartbeat. not breathing, i was overwhelmed by the amount of love i already had for our little miracle. the second she showed us the beating heart, i felt tears running out of my eyes. there it was, a real, live, heartbeat. something that aaron and i created. it's so amazing!

baby b at five weeks...so tiny

that appointment was followed by bed rest...five whole days of it! wow...that was interesting for someone who has a very hard time sitting still!

we have obviously gone back for appointments regularly. 8 weeks...12 weeks...16 weeks...

baby b at 12 weeks

then last week...trouble returned. i had a really rough week with a lot of pain. the doctor recommened i try to wear a maternity band. this is basically a fancy word for girdle. that was attractive! it helped with some of hte round ligament pain but not all of it and it kept getting worse. finally on friday, i had to go into the doctor to check on baby b. aaron is working out of town and will be until the end of march which made me even more nervous. luckliy, we have a wonderful group of friends here in savannah and my friend susan was able to come along to the appointment with me.

we had another sonogram and everything checked out great with baby b. our little one is growing nicely and weighs 8oz. already! he or she has REALLY long legs and REALLY big feet. not sure where that is coming from. the doctor checked me next and ladies...if you have never had a baby before, let me tell you, OUCHEEEWAAAWAAAA! but the good news, everything was fine. just a little infection that some meds would clear up. the best part of the whole appointment was being able to see baby b on an unexpected friday afternoon.

here is the thing...i know many people will disagree but being pregnant is so amazing. in the quiet moments when it is just me and baby b, i am in complete awe of the fact that a little heart is beating inside me. a little person growing and growing. God is so amazing! two people who love each other can make a little miracle. it's just the most amazing thing in the whole world. i looked at aaron over lunch on saturday, tears in my eyes and said, "i just love him so much already!" (we call him, him even though we don't know if it is a girl or a boy yet because it is easier. we are not going to find out until baby b makes his or her grand entrance into the world. we just hope for a healthy brain, a healthy spine and all of fingers and toes in place!)

at 18 weeks pregnant, i feel amazing! i have not gained a single pound and i am still swimming at least a mile most days of the week. i am healthier then i have ever been and besides being a little tired, i really have nothing to complain about. i have not really started to show and i am still wearing all of my regular clothes and still have to wear belt on my jeans from all of the weight i have lost over the past year. i spent a lot of time preparing my body for this monumental task.

last night when i was getting ready to go to bed, like i do everynight, i thanked God for this amazing experience. what a blessing aaron and i have been given. we are going to be parents and we can't wait! there are so many things we want to teach baby b and so many places we want to show him or her! but, until the time comes for baby b to meet the real world, i am happy to keep our little miracle nestled safely and to enjoy the quiet moments when it is just me and baby b.

eight years with my dixie girl

eight years ago today i walked into a dingy private shelter in southwest Portland, OR looking for a companion. after weeks of searching, my little angel was brought into the room and walked right over to me, put her head on my leg and looked into my eyes as if to say "please take me home with you." so i did. she was the one. i found her and she found me. it was love at first sight.

we have lived in eight differnent places, three different states and we even made it through a last name change together! that little angel waited for me by the front door at my mom and dad's house for two years while i lived in switzerland, hoping i would be coming back to get her. she has cried with me in my darkest moments of life and celebrated with me, jumping and wagging her tail feathers as fast as she can in my brightest moments. never once leaving my side and happy to see me everytime i get home, that's dixie. she is the best doggie in the whole wide world, compassionate, caring and even a bit bitchy at times. i love her too too much.

happy anniversary dixie marie meuser doodle doo bowman! thank you for rescuing me when i needed you the most! frosty paws on me tonight!

Happy Birthday Little Lizzie!

Dear Lizzie,

I can't believe you are 25 today! I still remember the night that mom went into labor and was sitting in a brown chair in our living room on Auburn street. And then the next day when Daddy took me to the hospital to meet you. I remember walking down the corridor at Butterworth Hospital holding Daddy's hand. When I told this to mom we decided that this was my first memory. It was the day my life changed forever!

Although distance keeps us apart, you are one of the most important women in my life. While we may have not always gotten along, I can't imagine my life without you! You are my best friend in the whole wide world. No matter what, we are always giggling and having fun! During the times of my life when I was really down, you were there to help me stand back up. I am forever grateful for that. You challenge me to face my fears and put on my big girl pants when no one else, including my very own husband, has the nerve to say what I really need to hear. You are truly one of a kind and a very special gift from God!

For the record, I did paddle the canoe while you hunted the turtles at Scalley Lake. I was your driver and you scooped the little buggers off the log. Remember how we used to paint our initials on their bellies and then try to catch them again? But, I did not walk in the muck while you were catching frogs. Gross. You always had such a bug for an outdoor adventure.

I want you to know how much you mean to me. I miss you so much every day! Someday when it is in God's plan, I know we will live close to each other so our kids can catch turtles together too. You have grown into such a strong, amazing, beautiful and talented, smart, woman. I am so proud of you! I love to tell people, "My sister lives on Mackinac Island!" How lucky are you?!?

Enjoy your birthday! I wish I was there to celebrate with you!

I LOVE YOU!!!!

Love,

reg